another poem....

Here I am again, not knowing what to write about......but I did write a poem. Sometimes I just have to rhyme when I write!


The tears that I shed, never cease to flow,
My emotional weaknesses seem to grow and grow.

With an overwhelming fear inside of losing this fight,
Questioning the paths I've chosen, no rest I find at night.

A new dawn arises and I wake to face it all again,
My soul cries out to Him, "This battle I cannot win."

I'm overcome by the flesh, overwhelmed with grief and sorrow,
Relentlessly I'm searching, for peace before tomorrow.

Throughout the day I am praying, while my thoughts are going astray,
Confusing me with the illusion that they will never go away.

Continually clouding my mind, "I'm only human and I will lose,"
Yet the Spirit stands up against me, "This path you cannot choose."

Here I am, once again, asking for my faith to be renewed,
For it's not my will, Lord, but yours I seek, in all that I may do.

on struggling...

The battle between the inward and outward man that Paul spoke about in Romans chapter 7 tells us that this is a daily battle. A battle that each of us, the saved, will struggle with. The only way to endure these battles is to become closer to God through prayer and studying the bible. Sometimes I feel so far away that I can't see the victory. Sometimes I want to give up. Sometimes I want to give in. The emotional pain becomes so hard to bear that it makes me ask the question, "Is it worth it?" I am struggling. I am praying. I am fighting.....daily.

"struggling"

I am a sinner, O Lord, saved only by your grace
kept by your mercy, in your tender embrace

I pray for your guidance in all that I do,
While fighting my flesh, trying only to listen to you

Many times I have failed, more than I succeed,
and here I am, once again, falling to my knees

So many deceitful, sinful thoughts my mind conceives,
yet I am still yours by the salvation I've received

I cry out, "forgive me" and I know that you hear,
whether with unspoken words, or through the shedding of tears

You reach down to raise me up to face another day,
I will follow, Lord, even though I stumble along the way

I lay it all down, for I'm not strong enough to hold on,
My load is then lightened, You give me the will to carry on.

on women and their behaviors...

I have began reading through the Bible. I have finished with Genesis. I'd like to share some information that I've learned that some of you may not know.

My topic is about the women of Genesis. Not all of them, but some that "got my attention." I've learned several things here: 1. Women haven't changed 2. There was usually a man involved. 3. We'll do almost anything for a man.

1. Eve: easily convinced...she was tempted, gave in, then gave to Adam to eat. She was created as a "helpmeet." Did she help?

2. Lot's wife: disobedient and nosy...She was warned not to look back and look what happened-bam-she turned into our favorite seasoning.

3. Lot's daughters: desireful...they were living in a cave with their father so there were no other men around, so they got their father drunk, slept with him and had children by him. These girls must have been mentally disturbed, that's the only explanation I can think of.

4. Sarah: impatient, jealous...she couldn't have children (or so she thought), so she gave Abraham her maid, Hagar, to have a son by (Ishmael). Then, she was mad about it and had her and the baby sent away. Of course later, God gave her the son Abraham was meant to have, Isaac.

5. Rachel and Leah: sisters, battlers for love...married to the same man, Jacob. How would you like to be in their shoes? Both of them battling for Jacob's love. Do you see a Jerry Springer episode here? Whoever gives Jacob the most sons wins!! Poor Leah, she wasn't as pretty but she could have those babies! She was so ugly that she had to buy Jacob with mandrakes (love apple, a fruit that increases your sexual desire, for procreation-they didn't have viagra back then)

6. Rachel: liar and thief...stole her father's statues, hid them in the camel's saddle she was sitting on, then when the men were searching for the statues she said "it's that time of the month, I can't get up"(not in those exact words but you catch my drift). See, we've ALWAYS used that as an excuse!

7. Potiphar's wife: seductress...she was attracted to Joseph and tried and tried to get him in the sack (hey, she was a go-getter) but he wouldn't give in (we always want what we can't have), so she got mad and accused him of attacking her. Boy, she didn't like being rejected.

8. Rebekah: trickster, deceitful...she had Jacob pretend to be Esau because she loved him more and wanted him to get the blessing from Isaac. What? A woman trick a man? Who ever heard of such?

9. Tamar: revengeful...Judah didn't make good on his promise to give her his third son, Shelah, after the first two died, remember they were wicked so the Lord slew them, anyway, she dresses as a harlot and lures Judah, sleeps with him then gives birth to twins. Twins, huh, I think I would have stayed a widow.

As you can see, most of the reasons they did these things were because of a man. However, they did it. Some of these women were really good women, they just made some bad choices. We all do.

I learned a lot. Did you?

Don't worry men, I've got one coming for you as well. I wouldn't want you to feel left out.

On our new president...

Since I'm a woman, I can't be called to preach so this is my pulpit, my blogspot. I can use it to get points across and if I'm ever incorrect, I'm sure some man of God will tell me. But you better have some scriptures ready to back it up.

I've been reading comments from people online and in magazines about our new president. I've been hearing people at my job make comments about him. It seems they believe he has all the answers. That he's going to "fix" this country. That he's brought people of all colors and nationalities together.

It is a shame and a disgrace to our Lord that these people have put their "faith" in this man. They actually believe that things are going to be better because of "him". And from a worldly view, it might.

One day I was at work checking a lady out (ringing up her purchase- just in case you were wondering), and she was talking to the man behind her about Obama getting this country out of this mess that Bush made it. I listened and finally I couldn't take hearing it any longer. Imagine that, me speaking my mind! I plainly said, "One man didn't get this country in this mess that it's in and one man is not going to fix it. We got this country in the mess it's in by allowing immoral laws to pass, going against what the Bible teaches, and taking God out of it. I didn't put my faith in Bush and I'm not about to put it in Obama. The only One who can turn this country around is God."

Well, the lady said "you're right" (I really don't think she agreed with me though, I don't know). She left. The man behind her continued this discussion with me, he was an older black man, very nice, and we talked about how our country has changed. His friend came up and made a purchase, he told me "we need more people like you". I thought he meant because I was friendly and helped him with something else, but he said "no, we need more young people like you that believe like that."

Wow! An older person said that about me! I was flattered.
This got me to thinking. I'm not a doctor, or a lawyer. I'm no rocket scientist, but it doesn't take much sense to realize that we need Jesus. We need God in our lives and those of us who do need to make a stand, tell others where this nation has failed, tell others where they need to place their trust and faith.

How ignorant can people be to actually believe that Obama is going to change this country? How is he (a man-and only a man) going to "fix" everything? I know there is a scripture that says "but if any man be ignorant, let him be ignorant." (1 Corinthians 14:38 to be exact) I wonder if He put that in there for these people?

Anyway, we know who to place our trust and faith in. Are we telling others?

on what does it take?

Sometimes events take place in our lives that either bring us closer or take us further away from God. Some question "why", others accept it and go on. Some lose their faith, others' grow stronger. Some commit themselves, others quit. Some become discouraged, others are encouraged. Some have peace while others have turmoil.

We know, as children of God, that times are not always going to be easy. That this is life. This is a part of being human.

What does it take? Does it take a tragedy to bring you closer, or a joyous occasion to renew your faith? Do you question the events in your life wondering why God has allowed them when He knows what the outcome will be?

Is anything too hard for the LORD? No. So if He can take care of my problems, why doesn't He? We are told to "wait on the Lord." How long do I have to wait? I don't know. I don't have the answers. I suppose I just have to keep going and someday I will see why the Lord has allowed me to suffer through the times that I have been faithful in church, in prayer, and in studying His word. I will stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.

What does it take for you?

Pray for me, pray for each other, pray that we will become stronger in the Lord no matter what we are going through.

scripture for the day

James 4:14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

on loving and hurting...

This past week has been a sad one here in the Halliday household. We said our goodbyes yesterday to our pastor, Bro. Dwight Bird.

The first time we visited the mission in Farmerville, we were late. For those of you who know us, that probably doesn't come as a surprise. However, we thought the services started at 7:00 because most Wed. night services do in our association. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Anyway, the service had started at 6:00, but Bro and Sis Bird were still there. Sis Betty and I talked. I remember her excitement when she asked me if I could play the piano and I said "yes". She almost jumped out of her skin with joy! I started to tell her that I wasn't that good, but I didn't want to spoil it for her. About a week later, she and Bro Bird came to our house to visit. You know the kind of visit you get when they want you to join their church. I remember crying when Sis Betty started talking about how much God moved her and Bro Bird. How upset she was. How mad she got at him, but never God. I really didn't want to hear it. "I" didn't plan on making this my church. It would be my "church of choice" when I couldn't make it down to Whispering Pines. I wanted to be home. I guess the Lord wasn't worried about what "I" wanted.

Many times Bro. Bird would pray and include "if anyone here needs to move their membership...etc" and I'd cry. Just the thought of it hurt. We held revival there one week, Bro Don McCormick preached. During the invitation on the last night, I believe, my husband went forward and asked to accept him by letter from Whispering Pines. Of course, they did. I cried. I knew that was it. The fight was on. That struggle inside, that turmoil that feels like it's ripping you apart. I fought it. I fought it with every ounce of my being for a while, about six months to be exact. It wasn't what I wanted, but I was told to "follow your husband" too many times, so I did. Even if I wasn't happy, I wanted to do what the Lord wanted. You preachers know what I mean.

Over the last few years the mission has grown, and I've grown very close to some of the members, especially the Bird family. Now I know that I've gotten "too close." You know when someone you love goes away, it hurts.

I had decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to love these people like I should. I was just going to "be there." I've been hurt too many times, been pulled away from family, friends, and church. I didn't want to go through that pain again. Well, needless to say, it didn't work. I found out this past week. I love Bro Bird, Sis Betty, and the rest of their family. When I saw them hurting, I hurt. One thing I know, Bro Bird is no longer hurting. I'm kinda envious of that.

I hope you get something from all this. It's ok to love people, and it's also ok to hurt.

I'm going to miss him a lot. He was a kind, loving, and truthful pastor. He was a brother, a friend, and I know he loved me.

Bro. Bird

Please remember Bro. Bird, his family, and our church at this time. He is in hospice care in El Dorado. We know we serve an awesome God, and He will comfort those at this very difficult time.

Life Touch Hospice
2301 Champagnolle Rd.
El Dorado, AR
870-862-0337
Room #5

on praying

It's 1:30 and I can't sleep. Lots of thoughts running through my little mind. So, I thought I'd post something. I don't know that I'll make much sense since it's so late.

I was just wondering...why do we pray heal this person or whatever the prayer may be "if it's your will"? He is God, so why does He need us to tell Him? I mean, I can see praying for help to do His will. Then, we turn around and say that if it's His will, it will be done. So why are we praying about it? Shouldn't we just accept whatever the outcome is as His will? I'm not saying don't pray to Him for others, I just believe we should think about HOW we are praying and the words we use.
Ecclesiastes 5:2 Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.

Like I said, it's late.

Please pray for Bro. Bird

Bro. Bird is in the hospital in El Dorado, Ar. He suffered a stroke Friday morning. Please keep him, his family, and our church in your prayers.
Thanks,
Julie